Turning Down opportunities

Journalism contests are just around the corner. Last year, luckily, I won and advanced to the regionals. This year, I tapped down the opportunity of making my way to the regionals again and if luckier, maybe to the nationals. But I chose not to join anymore and I'm not regretting my decision.

"Don't pass up every opportunity!" as what I would always hear here and there. That time, I was sitting on our couch, surfing the net, then suddenly mom went home handling me her phone, telling me that there was a text for me from our school paper adviser and saying that I'll train the following day. I went hysterical. I did not know what to reply because heck, I just cannot say "Mam, I don't like to join na po." I know they expect something from me this year. Every shot I took was meaningless, it was so not me. So did the training end. Here comes the contest proper. I was contemplating even before if I should join this year because honestly, my experience during the regionals training was sort of traumatizing for me. It was draining, so much pressure and I missed home = homesick. So I came to a decision where I chose to turn down this opportunity and try to focus on my academics (naks).

I was walking with my friend and she asked me why I chose not to join anymore and my answer was, "Alam kong ayoko ng ginagawa ko. Ayoko ng ganon. At kung halimbawa, sumali nga ako at pinalad na mapasama sa top 7, alam ko sa sarili ko na di ako worth it. Mas ibibigay ko na lang sa iba na alam kong mas gusto yung ginagawa kaysa sa akin." I'm saying these things without bitterness. I know for myself I'm not that type of person claiming every opportunity even if I know I'm not capable of and other's deserve it better than I do. I'm not that type of person who does what she does not really want.

I know some will say "opportunities na nga lumalapit, choosy pa." You know, at the end of the day, achievements are not achievements if all the efforts, hard work, perseverance did not come from the heart. It's about how opportunities mean to you. I love photography but not photojournalism and the environment of training (the pressure and all the homesickness).  I don't regret anything because I know that that opportunity is really not for me. It's for someone else. I felt so relieved when my adviser accepted my decision. I have come to realize that some things are not really meant for us and we can tell it even beforehand. Yes, I was having second thoughts because if this year, I'll win, (I thought) I'll be more validated and everyone will be proud of my achievements. But still, at the end of the day, it's a matter of self-respect (and you I don't have to do it for others). This year, I decided to rest and break away from all the dilemmas and stress.

By far, this is one of the best decisions I've ever made. This is for myself and I know next time I can do better.

(I wrote this post months before soooo.... I don't know if you get what I'm trying to say on this post, though. Peace.)

How about you? Have you turned down something and did not regret it? I'd love to hear your stories too!

5 comments

  1. I am a photojournalist when I was in highschool and one of my goals is to join contests. Too bad I don't have money to support that goal. Hahaha. But, being part of the school paper team served as a training ground. I became the EIC of our department's paper in college and a web content writer (TL), thanks to writing short photo captions back then.
    I adore you for doing what you've done! Opportunity knocks but some needs to be turned down to give way to others.

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    1. I also have to admit that being a photojournalist helped me a lot especially when it comes to interviewing people. At least you became the EIC which is one's goal!

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  2. Hi leiiiii hihi

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  3. I'm proud of all the decisions that you've made, I adore how you accept things without bitterness... I wanna have that spirit, maybe someday, hopefully, I will be able to have that!
    {xoxo Wed}

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