On turning 19

It's been almost five months. Why does this become suddenly so damn hard? Hay. I don't know. I turned 19 a few days ago and I honestly don't know what to feel about it or if I should give a damn, even. I've never been so bothered about my age and I seem to have that "age-problem" where I feel too old yet I have achieved so little to none in my entire existence. I've been seeing teens from 18 or even younger than I am achieving so much more than I do. I am just so insecure about them.While here I am, slumping on my bed, useless. Suddenly there came a beam of light. I was scrolling when I came across this quote or short passage by Bobby Garcia and it reads,
New York is 3 hours ahead of California but that doesn't make California slow. Someone graduated at the age of 22, but waited 5 years before securing a job. Someone became a CEO at 25, and died at 50. Someone became a CEO at 50, and lived to 90 years. Someone is still single, while someone else got married. Obama retired at 55 & Trump started at 70. Everyone in this world works based on their own time zone. People around you might seem to be ahead of you & some might seem to be behind you. But everyone is running their own race, in their own time. Do not envy them & do not mock them. They are in their time zone, and you are in yours. Life is about waiting for the right moment to act. So, relax. You're not late. You're not early. You are very much on time. 
It speaks to me a lot. Like, a lot. I was so insecure about this photographer and other creatives who are making their own names in the industry, working with the best of bests and I have nothing in my pocket. It was never easy to fight off and shut down your own mind from thinking about it too much. I realized I was always in a hurry. I have put so much pressure unto myself that by this age I gotta achieve this already which it does not work that way. It's all about timing, finding your own rhythm and beat. And then I stopped caring and giving a shit. Now that I turned 19 and will enter the college next year, I just wanna free my mind from all the pressure and just let the universe conspire and work it's own. I don't mind graduating high school at 19 and college at 24 (or older hahaha). I don't care if even how old I may be from achieving any of my goals. I don't care if I'm too slow or too fast. I know I can work my way there. I had my fair share of stress and that's enough. Gotta enjoy the ride and see where it'll bring me. There's no need to rush. Stop. Breathe. I'll get there. Maybe not now, but soon.

Here's to another fruitful year! Cheers to the unknown. Another year older and I don't give a flying fuck anymore! Mahirap ang laban ng buhay ngunit kailangan, kinakailangan at kakayanin magpatuloy. Padayon! 
Philippines

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